The same faces; Anthony, Brad, Baldwin, Adam, Ryan, Christian, O'Conner, Mikey, Black Jon, Lentini, Sprite, myself, and plenty of others I'm forgetting, standing up front, pressed against the stage, yelling every word, every single time. I had just gotten into the Long Island Hardcore scene after stealing a cassette tape copy of Start Today from my friend Joe's older brother Tom. A few weeks later, Tom reluctantly brought Joe and I to our first show, Mind Over Matter and Silent Majority at the Medford VFW Hall. That night helped shape what the rest of my teenage years would become. It was all downhill from there. We rarely ever missed a Silent Majority show. We would drive to skatespots all over Long Island, in my sweet station wagon, having Life Of A Spectator sing-alongs the entire way. I remember the man crush we all had on Tommy. We pranked called him at home...and at work...and prank internetted him. We assaulted him outside of shows with water guns and water balloons. We tried to tie his shoe laces together while he jumped around on stage. I think it's time for another reunion...
Coming soon: Silent Majority at the Medford VFW circa 94 or 95.
The first practice of the season didn't go so well. I sat down on my couch at 4pm, ready to take in the Jets game, some highlight shows, and then watch the Giants lock up home-field advantage. Eight hours of Football, no bathroom breaks. I thought fatigue or the need to urinate would be the biggest obstacle to overcome, I quickly found out there was a much bigger obstacle. The New York Jets. I remember parts of the first quarter...and then I remember waking up just before kickoff of the Giants game. If Sunday had been the actual Superbowl of Lazy...I wouldn't have made it through the first hour. Luckily, the Jets will not be playing on January 1st...or anytime there after.
This morning we practiced outside in the elements, you never know what gameday may bring...
About a month ago I received an email from Gringo Entertainment Correspondent Frankie Baez encouraging me to try out for the ESPN Ultimate Couch Potato Competition, a contest won by the person who can do absolutely nothing longer than anyone else. I got a call Friday morning just before I had a wisdom tooth yanked out (thank god for pain killers) inviting me to take on the reigning champion. I will be competing against three other idiots, including last years champ who watched 29 consecutive hours of sports, at 11am on New Years Day.
I was originally torn between the following options: 1. Ordering ridiculous amounts of food until I vomit. 2. Getting trashed and eventually disqualified for something stupid. 3. Getting up and leaving for no reason...with-in the first five minutes.
Then I thought of one of my all-time favorite quotes...
"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor. " - Vince Lombardi
Fuck it, I'm going for the win. If you don't see any posts from me in the near future it is because I am busy training.
ESPN Zone, New Years Day, 11am til I piss my pants, be there.
Here is the brilliant answer that got me an invitation to the Final Four:
Do you think the inventor of the yellow first down line should be awarded the Nobel Prize for physics?
That stupid yellow line was invented for people who don't understand football. It is the equivalent of that crazy glowing hockey puck with the trail following it that lasted all of 10 minutes. If I see one more play that comes up a half yard short of a first down and hear one more idiot yell "Come on! Couldn't he see the yellow line!!!!!" I might completely lose it. Seriously though, as much as you probably want to, I suggest not choosing me. It won't even be a contest. If you think Tiger is dominant it is because you haven't challenged me to a competition that involves sports and food yet. A blowout may seriously hurt your ratings....pick someone else.
I was deleting pictures from my phone today when I came upon this beauty, I didn't have it in me to hit the delete button. Then I came home to this work of art by Mr. Contrast. I can't take credit for this Long Beach Boulevard sidewalk masterpiece, but I am proud to have captured it via Blackberry. Cock and Balling never gets old. Here are my two favorite cock and ball stories of recent memory...
1. West End, Long Beach, NY: The residents of 61 Tennessee make the fatal mistake of leaving their front door unlocked. Mr. Contrast shows up to an unlocked empty apartment and wanders around for a few seconds. Then he goes into a coma of immaturity as he begins to draw cock and ball after cock and ball onto post-it notes and plaster the walls of the unsuspecting victims. When he snaps out of it he isn't sure how he had done it or how long it had taken him, but 61 Tennessee had hundreds of cock and ball post-its covering its walls and ceilings. Gnarly.
2. Costa Rica, sometime after midnight: I sit out the night due to injuring my foot. Contrast and STB make the usual trek to the bar formerly known as Blew Dog's. On the walk home they come upon a bonfire, not unusual. They sit down and begin talking to some girl. I won't get into how stupid she is, but trust me, she defines stupid. While being annoyed by Miss Stupid, STB sculpts a giant SPURTING cock and balls out of sand, stands up...admires his work...and vanishes.
In September you were introduced to Frankie Baez when he reported his experience with guido Yankee fans at Shea Stadium, which I can not wait to see destroyed by a wrecking ball....because it doesn't have dipping dots. Frankie is now reporting to us from the F Train, maybe we should hire him full-time.
Overheard on the F Train: "Good morning ladies and gentleman. I am homeless and need your help. If anybody can spare some change I would greatly appreciate it. I also accept money from asians, if that's humanly possible."
Anyone want to fund a documentary film about NYC bums?
Here are some of the many reasons why my favorite video part of all time is not from any of my favorite videos or by any of my favorite skaters. Birdhouse did two things no one else had the balls to do when they filmed The End. They handed the creative freedom over to the actual skaters and they dropped the money for some real production quality. They went into this project with a $100,000 budget, huge at the time for a skate video. Heath and Jeremy managed to double that. They routinely called the director at 2 am, woke him up, and annoyed the shit out of him until he showed up at some random spot. This wasn't just one guy they were dragging out of bed, it was a small film crew. Here is a list of the other reasons why this is my favorite video part of all time...
1. They filmed at a gas station...where there was nothing to skate.
2. They filmed at a Blockbuster...where there was nothing to skate.
3. They filmed at other locations...where there was nothing to skate. 4. They filmed the entire part in brand new Armani suits. 5. They lit themselves on fire in those suits. 6. They blew up a shed 7. They blew up a van. 8. They skated off the end of a pier...in brand new Armani suits...on fire.
Rumor has it that after filming this they were never the same. In his book, Tony Hawk talks about how they would continue to light themselves on fire and blow shit up for months after this. Awesome.
"200 years of American technology has unwittingly created a massive cement playground. It took the minds of 12-year-olds to realize it's potential."
I began skateboarding sometime during 1986, the golden age of the skateboard video. Being 7-years-old, I had no idea what I was witnessing at the time. Now that I think about it, I don’t think much of the older generation realized it either. I was exposed to Bones Brigade Video II: Future Primitive shortly after Tony from BMX Country sold me my first pro-model, a Powell Peralta Steve Caballero deck, Independent trucks and Rat Bones wheels. I will never forget that setup (one day it will be tattooed on me). Future Primitive and The Search For Animal Chin turned out to be huge influences on me.
When we first started skating, my cousin Chris and I were on our own. There was no one around to show us the ropes; we had to figure it out for ourselves. Picture a caveman being placed on a basketball court and handed a ball. We must have looked like idiots. Luckily, Stacy Peralta bailed us out. The first few Bones Brigade videos taught me what skateboarding was about, and I couldn’t be more grateful, because what was to come a few years later was a load of shit.
Bones Brigade Video 6: Ban This is one of my favorite videos of all time and it marked the end of a skateboard era. Skateboarding fell apart in the early 90’s. The wheels got smaller, the tricks got shitty and the pants got fucking huge. I remember showing up to Woodward Skate Camp one year, 91 or 92, and being referred to as the “old school” kids. We were outcasts. Two friends I had made the year before, Scott Arnibold and Anthony Furlong, hooked me up with a “new school” setup. I liked my old board and my favorite trick was a boneless, but I was young and I wanted to fit in. I wasted the entire week trying to learn pressure flips and I’m pretty sure I never even landed one. I still don’t get that trick, fucking pointless.
Skateboarding really went downhill at that point and so did the videos. I still don’t think there are many videos that compare to the early Bones Brigade videos, maybe none at all. Sure there are plenty of videos out there with incredible skating, and don’t get me wrong, I watch them, but there is something special about those first six Bones Brigade videos. They captured something that few videos since have been able to do. They captured what skateboarding is really about...having fun with your friends.
“I think it is about time that we had playoffs in college football. I’m fed up with these computer rankings and this and that and the other. Get eight teams — the top eight teams right at the end. You got a playoff. Decide on a national champion.” - Barack Obama
By the time this aired at halftime during Monday Night Football, while I was losing my weekly football pool on the last game of the week to a girl (granted Sarah knows more about football than most dudes I know) the election was already decided. But I believe, if it had been a closer race, this interview pushes Obama into office.
That is Kevin Connolly in this weeks episode of Entourage. For those of you unaware, that is not an Oakland Raiders t-shirt he is wearing. He is representing our alma mater, the Patchogue-Medford Raiders. Awesome.
Everything about that city sucks. I miss watching Eagles games at Nice Guy Eddie's with Andy and Bushy. Watching them sing that stupid touchdown song. They were always pretty quiet by the fourth quarter. The World Series is going to end the same way. Philly Sucks!
This is what happens when David Akers forgets he is a kicker.
Along our journey we also found these sweet beachside Cabanas. If anyone needs a place to crash for a while, we are pretty sure no one will bother you here until the beaches reopen next summer. Water, electric and beach access are even included in your rent. Sprite already called shotgun on #27.
Sprite and I finished up our lunch at the Beach Cafe and headed bayside to check out the mini-ramp at the Long Beach Skatepark. Leaving the skatepark we ran into my landlord, Chris, who told us about a better park in Lido Beach, "near the Mushroom Park." We pedaled around aimlessly for a while, then decided to go check it out. Four miles later we were in Mushroom Park, but there was no sign of a skatepark. Luckily, due to advances in technology, we did what Tony, Steve, Mike, Lance and Tommy couldn't, we hit up Google via iPhone and Blackberry. We found directions to the park here, they read as follows...
Go to Long Beach, make a left, go to Lido Beach, it's on your right.
Thanks for the help. We eventually stumbled upon the park, which got us pretty psyched. Only problem was, we made this excursion sans skateboards. That wasn't going to stop Sprite...
Frankie Fussa, youngest member of the Board Sports Crew and ex-frontman of Ultra High Frequency, has a new band. This video pretty much sums up their brilliance. Check them out here.
I made my triumphant return to the poker world tonight, after a 1 year hiatus, by taking 2nd and 1st place money in consecutive no-limit tournaments at a nice little home game overlooking the East River. But due to Poker Blogs being all too common and all too fucking boring, this is the first and last time I will ever write about poker.
As I was trying to balance my attention between the cards in front of me and the Vice Presidential Debate playing on the TV across the room, I overheard this beauty come out of the mouth of Sarah Palin, "John McCain has already tapped me."
Outside the local grocery I was stopped for skating on the sidewalk. The man wants to know when my type is going to learn our lesson. Skating away I know the answer to his question is never. - C.R. Stecyk III
